Schedule Interrupted

March #SOL16 Day 5

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We’re sitting together on the couch.  I’m dreading this.  Is now the right time?  Should I wait until the tomorrow when she’s fresher?  She seems to take stuff better in the mornings.

No, just go for it.  She needs to know so in her mind she can start making alternate plans.

I resolve.  I’m going to be casual about this. “Oh and tomorrow, I won’t be able to have dinner with you.”  It hangs in the air.  I smile (why?  Does smiling make the news go down easier?)  I think about changing the subject.  I let it hang a little longer.

Big mistake (who am I fooling?  This could never have gone well)

A sad face looks back at me.

“OK”, she says.  Looking so, so pitiful.

Sigh.

“What will you be doing?” she asked.

“Just going to a concert here in the city.  I thought I could get out of it, I thought someone else might take my place, so  I was waiting to tell you, but then I found out that other person wasn’t going, so now I’m going, I’m sorry.”  I guess I thought if I rambled through it she would hear the stress in my voice and she would feel that I was sorry too.

The thing is, though, I’m not sorry.  Not sorry about the concert I’m going to see tonight, that is.  I think it’ll be cool to see Edwin McCain at City Winery.  I love the venue.  I love the people there.  I feel like they’re extended family, they are so good to us.  Always incredibly happy when we walk through their doors.

The thing is, it’s kind of fun to go there.

There, I said it.

It’s fun to go out to dinner and a concert.

But….I am sorry about how our schedule has been interrupted.

 

 

 

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15 thoughts on “Schedule Interrupted

  1. There will be plenty of other nights to have dinner. This is only a brief (and fun) interruption and your schedule will resume 🙂

  2. Your post truly brought me into your story. I felt nervous about breaking the schedule and then sad for the broken schedule and ultimately justified in making a choice I wanted to make! Great post!

  3. Oh Carrie. This hurts my heart. Your masterful telling helps it a bit though. I have seen that letdown in another’s eyes and it’s so so hard to bear. I think it helps you really enjoy what you do though. Knowing that your absence matters so much to someone. Amazing slice.

  4. Oh, Carrie! What a well written slice! This is why the book is always so much better than the movie. You tell us what you’re thinking and feeling every step of the way, and we’re right there with you on that roller coaster of stomach-knotting dread and hope and guilt over your naughty little secret. Enjoy the concert!

  5. Awe. This slice makes my heart ache. I can just see Jill looking so sad after she has been looking forward to her “date” all week. Maybe you could have an early dinner with her so she can take a break from her solitude. Your words told the story with so much emotion.

  6. You have a way of taking us on journey…..and this one was filled with emotions I am all to familiar with. Thankfully, the hard part is over. Enjoy the concert, Carrie. 🙂

  7. “A sad face looks back at me” oh Carrie, this was a hard message for you to deliver. You seem caught between feelings of obligation and feelings of wanting to have your own independence. I hope you did enjoy yourself at the concert.

  8. You kept me reading wanting to know how the person responded. I felt the conflict you had at first and the relief you had once you told the person about your plans. Your first thought of waiting until the person was,” fresher” is always my plan of action when I have to deliver disappointing news. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it does not. Sometimes it is just best to get it done and over.

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