Tonight

March #SOLC Day 15

sol[1]I am sitting on her bed.  She walks toward me slowly.   Slightly bent over.  Her left foot pointing off to the side.  It’s as if one leg is thinking about walking in a different direction.  Both of her feet looking an unhealthy color.  Bluish.  She’s so frail looking in her cute pink nightgown.

My thoughts race.  I’m so glad she is here with me still.  She knows my name, but gets it wrong once in a while.  The words are there in her mind, but they don’t always come out right.  Our roles have reversed.  I rub her arm at night, just like she used to do for me.  I reassure her that everything is going to be alright and not to worry, just like she used to do for me.  I rush home from work when she’s sick, just like she used to do for me.

I know that things won’t get better; they will only get worse.  But as I watch her approaching me at this moment I appreciate what we have right now.  Tonight.

 

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19 thoughts on “Tonight

  1. Beautiful outlook on what happens as a part of life. I love the actions described as once done to you, but now received by her. Such love. The one day at a time gratitude reveals your emotions so well!

  2. Beautiful piece. The emotion of it is so raw and real…”She knows my name, but gets it wrong once in a while” stuck with me throughout the piece. What a wonderful reminder to be thankful for what we have right now.

  3. Oh, gosh – this is so impactful. What a simple, beautiful tribute to your loved one. Have you read Still Alice? I love the message in that book, which is much the same as yours – the here and now is what is important.

  4. Life comes full circle, doesn’t it? I think so, too, when I worry about my mom… when she’s alone or I know she needs help with something at her house… It’s our job as adults to take care of them once we don’t need them to take care of us anymore. This piece squeezed my heart.

  5. A very powerful piece. I also cried a bit. I can recall caring for my mother in the very end, all the while remembering all the years she had cared for me. A lovely post.

  6. Another reminder make the most of every moment you have. This was very touching Carrie, and oh so beautifully written. There are 2 statements that stick with me: the repeating of “just like she used to do for me,” and “I appreciate what we have right now. Tonight.” Very powerful writing.

  7. This is beautiful!!!i am crying as I reading it, the love for your mom is evident, she knows it too.. You will treasure theses moments forver.

  8. I feel the raw emotion in your words. “..I appreciate what we have right now.” Words to live by for all. I am so glad she is with you still.

  9. Oh Carrie, I just can’t imagine what you are going through. She may be confused at times, but I’m sure she knows that you are taking care of her and she knows how much you love her.mthis was so beautiful.

  10. Carrie, I think you know well how I feel about this piece of writing. It literally makes my heart hurt. So beautifully written, so touching, so sweet, and so honest. Now I will live with that image of your adorable mom in her pink nightgown. This is, by far, my favorite thing you’ve ever written.

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