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She didn’t know the truth, so she made it up. “Was that OK?”, she wondered. “Maybe I’ll say I guessed instead of made it up,” she said. “People will scoff if I don’t at least come close.” She went about her day. Wondering if the “guess” she made was even close.
Lunch time came. She continued her elusive guessing game, hoping she was fooling others, desperate to convince herself. She realized she had been here before. It didn’t work back then….why did she think it would now? It had to. She didn’t have time for all the extra stuff that came with being exact. But. Was she prepared for not being right? Was it easier now, but much, much harder in the long run?
Then came the obligatory negative self-talk; “Who will it hurt, anyway? It’s only affecting me. No one else cares. Geez, I am so stupid. Of course it affects my friends and family. They care how close I come to the truth. It’s really a matter of life and death. I’m an idiot.”
By dinner time I vow to go back on that diet that I’ve yo-yo’d through my entire life. This time it’s going to be different. This time I’m going to really count those calories and not just hope for the best. This time I will tell the truth about what I’m putting into my body. Who knows….maybe it’ll actually work this time!